See the whole sordid saga and silly cartoons … Oceansidetrees.com

Big Jack Ass is the ROAD HOG THAT ROARED. Not only does he hog the street with his 4 old, ugly, large, loud, pieces of crap, vehicles, but he also threatens people … us; he thinks he controls the cul-de-sac, OINKING OUT ORDERS, ROARING and cussing, and he’s managed to make our cul-de-sac into his own personal, filthy HOG WALLOW.

Hog Wallow on the Cul-de-sac

His collection of ugly rusting, leaking vehicles seems to be the highlight of his life, well, besides Hooty~Booty, and he doesn’t care who he offends, it’s all about what he wants.

That, don’t care who you offend attitude has certainly proved to be very contagious, as I definitely have caught a really giant case of it since he offended me with his bad, bully boy threats and hostile attitude at my home. Now looks like I’m being offensive, but “what comes around, goes around” (Dr. John wrote a song about that years ago).

His wife has 1 decent vehicle, he has his 4 ugly trucks that he, now, is playing musical vehicles with. He cranks them up, moving them all around during the day and night, lots of noise (old, loud trucks), to other parts of the street, or another street, then he’ll move them back again.

If those 4 vehicles weren’t enough, he’s also added this fifth one to squeeze into our small little “Special Needs” parking area…he is just a wee bit over quota, don’t ya think?

What if everyone on the street had 5 autos each? He’s not thinking with a fair or rational mind. And then he was yelling at us about our 1 ugly truck parking on his and Tree Lady’s personal city street!

This guy’s really taking over, isn’t he? What makes him think he and Tree Lady are so entitled to use the street and we’re not?

His wood truck is always filled with wood, and he piles his van to the brim with wood, so those are two commercially used vehicles, storing his product on our humble, overcrowded, itsy-bitsy cul-de-sac.

Does city codes allow that the streets be used for storing commercial products? Shouldn’t Big Jack Ass rent a warehouse to store all that wood?

What if I buy a truck or two, pile them up with products I’d like to sell and park them in front of Tree Lady’s house? Using the city street for commercial storage, what a good idea, will save me some money!

I’m thinking of starting a fertilizer business (Cow Manure), even thought up a great name… Cul-De-Sac Cow Crap Company of Oceanside. Well maybe that’s a wee bit too much, and will think about it some more before applying for my Oceanside business license.

Anyway, the odor of cow manure won’t be nearly as funky as Malodorous Mr. Remodel , that Big Old Stinky Cheater, who lives over there. He just STENCHES out that house to the hilt.

They’ll probably all love my manure truck being parked there, and will be coming out front, often, for a fresh breath of country air!

Hey, that atmosphere would be just perfect for that farm animal, Big Jack Ass, Road HOG.

Who cares if it makes anyone mad! Our street is Wonderland “where wrong is right and right is wrong” The Golden Rule, doesn’t apply over here and neither do city codes.

These neighbors just run this place to suit their special needs, “The Queen and Her Melon Heads”.  This is their game of CONTROL THE CUL-DE-SAC. Guess what, I don’t like just anyone trying to control me; I’m not playing this game  WITH THEIR RULES, I’m making MY OWN RULES!

I’m starting to think of all the SPECIAL NEEDS that I might have. Maybe I’m turning into a CONTROL FREAK, now, just like Big Jack Ass and The Queen; I’ve noticed that their… “I need what I want, SCREW YOU … NEIGHBOR”, attitude is really catching on for me.

When you don’t have that cumbersome obligation to society to act like decent, civilized human beings, and NO ONE GIVES A HOOT, well, I think my little California cul-de-sac has returned to the days of the Wild, Wild West, and I’m doing my best to turn into Annie Oakley, as she was quite a markswoman … always hit her targets. I’ve been practicing and I can aim pretty darn good! Never know when your talents will come in handy.

Guess all that moving of the vehicles is because the city told them to try to keep the cul-de-sac open.

So, we are making some headway, however, Big Jack Ass is menacing the street with too much heavy metal and will continue to manipulate 5 vehicles night and day.

Perhaps he’s having a little “flair up” of Paranoia (see…PARANOIA), thinking that the city might see his multitude of metal clogging the cul-de-sac after they’ve made their request to keep it clear, so he’s clanking and banging, cranking engines and making metal maneuvers on the cul-de-sac, night and day.

It would be just terrible if he disturbs my sleep and I get really cranky!

Terrible Temper

On the bright side … well, at least he’s got something to do, now, moving his crap collection, every day, instead of gossiping and whatever else he spends his time doing with Tree Lady, I just don’t know.  Hhhhmmmmmm.

AAAAAHHHHMMMMMMM … AAAAAHHHHMMMMMMM, oh, I was only clearing my throat!

Chiku

Times Are Tough

Yaki of Wonderland

It’s really getting hard for Chiku, my African Grey Parrot to make a living, you remember that Yaki, my brilliant Voodoo Cat, hired her (see…Virtual Voodoo) a while back as head of WIA (Wonderland Idiot Alert).

Chiku’s basically working for peanuts right now, and a few sunflower seeds. Of, course, she doesn’t really have to work at all, as her every need is taken care of by me.

That African Grey is so very silly and she keeps me laughing all day. Never know what that bird will say. I’ve actually been taking lessons from her and find it refreshing to just speak out, loud and clear, and you just never know what I’m liable to say, either.

I’m finding it very easy to be a Chiku myself, and that’s African, Swahili, meaning talker, or one who chatters. Or in my case, I blog my chatter, because I love to blog my anger away to the tens of thousands who are tuning in to my evil neighbors’ story.

Anyway, Chiku’s job was very profitable until the constant flow of idiots dried up on the cul-de-sac. No longer does she need to report them scurrying around from house to house or hanging out, chitchatting on the street. Not much $$$$$$$$.

Tree Lady_Hooty~Booty Moonshine aimed at Big Jack Ass

Things have really changed as I haven’t seen any cracks or g-strings shining lately; come to think of it, no nude neighbors at all. Hope that era of Nasty Neighbor Nudity is done, as It’s been pretty disgusting.

See……PEEPER’S PARADISE

Naked Neighbor_Big Jack Ass

By the way, I just checked out my back window and Big Jack Ass has closed his vertical blind almost all the way. That was where I got my eyes full of this naked neighbor, Big Jack Ass. Yukkkkkkkk!

Big Jack Ass’ wife must have lost her job, as her routine is no longer predictable, and she’s home a lot. That could be a BIG GAME CHANGER or even a GAME OVER for Tree Lady and her Knight in Shining Armour! AAAAAHHHHMMMMMMMM…AAAAAHHHHMMMMMMMM, must be catching something!

Knight_Big Jack Ass Street Enforcer

This is probably terrible to tell, but I do think up lots of amusing little things during the day … I named that special SCURRY the Queen does crossing the street to Big Jack Ass’s house, “Hooty~Booty, Hot Lips on the Gossip Express” or I like this one… “Crack and Sag Will Travel”! How about “G-Sting Granny and the Gossip Game”. I’d better stop with the ugly crap or a bolt of lightning could set my hair on fire.

You know I’ve been having this hissy-fit over those trees blocking my view and my, oh my, those lies those creeps told about my son and me, really set me off. Well, I was so aggravated for so long that I believe I’ve actually become very CATTY!

I’ve clipped my claws lately, as I wouldn’t want to relapse with my split-personality disorder and perhaps scratch someone’s eyes out. Yaki, my Voodoo Queen Cat, who’s also my therapist, has warned me of a possible recurrence. Haven’t really had any more violent thoughts lately, as I’ve been laughing too much!

To be truthful, I must confess that I did have a fleeting thought of stomping on that big toe that’s sticking up, with steel boots on, in that naked image of Big Jack Ass, above. I quickly gave that one up, as I wouldn’t want to get near that Big Jack Ass.

Or, in the Knight In Shining Armour cartoon of Big Jack Ass, I could take his gun away, put him on a wall, pretend he is a tin can,  and…well, never mind, I’m off on a tangent and shouldn’t be thinking like a cowgirl, after all, I am a lady.

Yaki told me that Mr. Remodel and Tree Lady are reading this blog. I don’t know how my cat knows so much! I would surely hope it gives them as big a HOOT as it’s giving me! Perhaps, Big Jack Ass is also enjoying my little rant!

Anyway, I sure hope everyone’s having a ball, because when I play, I play to have a good time and I play to win, especially when idiots spread lies around about my son and me, I just have to pull out my animated ammunition and aim at their asses!

Speaking of Mr. Remodel, Dufus Dad, ex-husband of Tree Lady,  I saw him the other day getting out of Tree Lady’s car and could barely see him because of the cloud of noxious gas that hangs around him now that Yaki’s Voodoo Curse has GASSED HIM UP FOR GOOD!

Big Old Stinky Cheater

It’s kind of a neat effect, almost looks like the Bounty Hunter stepping out of that Hollywood “special effects” cloud. But Dufus doesn’t ever get to step out of his cloud as it is…

Permanent Pongy Permeation!

SKUNK Neighbor

P … U !

Guess you’ve all  heard of the principle of Cause and Effect…

Hermetic Principle of Cause and Effect

Known also as the law of Karma: every thought, every belief, every action has a reaction, an effect.

Also the Christian concept: that we shall reap what we have sown.

Well, Dufus’ cloud is a real effect with cause, and that would be “JUST CAUSE”…  just ’cause … he’s a Big Old Stinky Cheater who told lies about us; my Voodoo Queen Cat, Yaki, has put the spell on him, and a side effect is …

SEVERE FLATULENCE!

GROSS!

Yuck!

P … U !

I surely don’t want to get down-wind of this Big Old Stinky Cheater … SKUNK!

See there…

you just never know who might just take care of business if you try to perpetrate EVIL on them. Lying and gossiping to hurt others is…

E V I L!

That someone you chose to hurt just might look harmless, even weak, but in actuality, they could be a TRANSFORMER … someone who won’t put up with…

YOUR CRAP

and will miraculously…

T R A N S F O R M…

into someone you wished you hadn’t messed with!

YOU’LL REALLY HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!

Dufus has got face foliage, now, and Big Jack Ass has a face canopy… it’s getting very “hairy” on the cul-de-sac. Wonder what’s prompted these incognito faces, could be that SHAME is kicking in.  Well, I’d say it would be about time, but perhaps it’s only their way of preparing for the long, hard Oceanside, California winter.

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List of the progression of my ANGER and my mental therapy…

Click on …

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for more Ridiculous Crap

Please excuse any redundancy in my rantings. EXCUSE ME FOR VENTING…I do ramble on (perhaps I should see a psychiatrist for a PROZAC prescription)…

My daddy always told me to laugh my way through life and enjoy every minute, and he was right! Thank you DADDY, I love you!

…FROM MAD TO GLAD … CAUTION … CHILDREN AT PLAY….

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Silly cartoons and tales of the cul-de-sac …Oceansidetrees.com